De-stressing During Divorce

Strategies to reduce your stress during divorce


Divorce is one of the most stressful events a person can go through.  Just trying to stay off the emotional rollercoaster while dividing up property, money, and time with the kids is difficult. All this heartbreak with potential court actions, costly attorney fees, and personal questions can make life pretty overwhelming.

Here are a few simple and effective ways to bring down the stress level when dealing with divorce.

1. HALT (hungry, angry, lonely or tired)

Give yourself the chance to halt; stop, slow down and then breathe. Take a breath in and count of three. Then let it out for a count to five. When we are stressed we naturally stop breathing and the oxygen does not flow well to our brains.

When the oxygen is not flowing well, our bodies go into fight or flight mode and our decision making ability literally stops.

2. Chew a piece of gum or ice

Chewing a piece of gum or some ice works well if you are having a heated discussion with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Chewing will help distract your mind from going off to a place of saying things you will regret later. It also is a tangible action that moves the jaw so your body will release tension without even realizing it.

3. Get some warmth

Take 10 minutes and place a warm heat wrap around your neck and shoulders. This signals the body that you are being comforted and cared for.  This allows the shoulders to relax and muscles to function in a more meaningful manner.

4. Find some foods with potassium in them

When you are under extreme stress like divorce, potassium tends to deplete in the body and blood pressure can rise and cause physical and emotional problems. Banana and potato’s (particularly baked) add potassium back into the system, therefore making the body more balanced and responsive.

5. Reach Out

Many times during divorce people feel alone, and isolated in the process.

Reach out and call a friend who is open to let you vent your frustrations with the process. Support groups are another good source of venting. Sometimes just being present in the moment and connecting to someone else can help decrease our own frustrations.

6. Play Classical Music

Studies show that if you have an elevated heart rate due to stress that the structure of classical music brings it down. Just 10 minutes of Mozart or Bach can move your mind and body to a more peaceful place and allow you to function better.


These tools are simple, easy to try and they produce results. It worked for me when I was going through a divorce as well as many of my clients.

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